theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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