why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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