All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
