I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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