her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
