And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Lo siento on account of my penis...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
