it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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