I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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