Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
