it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize