so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
