so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize