Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
