I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
