He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The beer is more important than you right now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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