Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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