just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
