we made out on top of his cat.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize