Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
