Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm getting married
To pizza
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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