I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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