It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
