I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think my moral compass just broke
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