OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
