do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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