To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
