I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
