Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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