So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
