no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.