i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
