Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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