Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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