That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
