:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
