this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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