Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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