I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
