After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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