shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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