You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
