fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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