Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm way too hungover for life right now
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
