The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
