Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
