I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
