Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
