am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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