He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
