I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize