marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize