getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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