Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My pussy is not your playground.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
