im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
