I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
