I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
