like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
