hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
