whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
