For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
